Advice From An Oxford Admissions Tutor On Writing Personal Statements

Students often assume the task of a personal statement is to impress, however in practice the people reading it are looking for something far narrower and far more practical.

A talk given by an Oxford politics tutor, Matthew Williams at Jesus College, with roughly a decade of admissions experience and several thousand statements behind him offers clarity and guidance. See the full lecture here.

What follows is a summary of his lecture, augmented with our own experience at Witherow Brooke guiding students through their personal statement writing as well as the university application process in general. We finish with the one piece of advice we give to all applicants which should inform everything they write.

1. Motivation should be academic, not vocational

The most common misstep is writing about the career rather than the course. A candidate declares a lifelong ambition to become a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, and stops there.

The admissions tutor's horizon is much shorter than the applicant's. They are not selecting a future consultant surgeon; they are selecting someone who can begin a demanding academic degree in October and thrive in it. Career ambition is not a fault, but on its own it answers the wrong question.

Compare a candidate who says medicine has always been their calling with one who describes becoming curious about how a common painkiller interrupts a pain signal, and then following that curiosity into the underlying biochemistry. The second candidate has said something about the degree; the first has only said something about the job title.

2. Show, don't tell

The great majority of statements assert enthusiasm without evidencing it.

Declaring that you are fascinated by law proves nothing. An applicant who names a specific case, explains what turned on a contested word, and says what they made of the judgment has communicated fascination without ever having to claim it. 

The principle holds across subjects. Compare a prospective historian who only claims that they love looking into the past, to one who has visited their local records office and who can say what it was like to work with a source nobody had interpreted for them. The latter has demonstrated precisely the disposition a history degree demands. County and city archives are free, open to the public, and almost entirely unexploited by applicants. 

3. Demonstrate that you know what the course involves

Universities want reassurance that the applicant understands what they are signing up for. The clearest signal is the level at which they are already reading.

An introductory or popular text shows very little; anyone can read one. A candidate for medicine who engages with The Lancet or the BMJ is showing that they can handle the kind of material they will meet in week one. Quality matters far more than quantity here, reading less and thinking harder is the better choice.

In general, at Witherow Brooke we advise looking at the reading list for the first year of the prospective degree and picking one or two texts to read, at least in part. No admissions tutor expects a candidate to understand everything in the course at the application stage, however demonstrating interest and the concentration required to tackle content above your current level is a sign to a tutor that you may be well placed to succeed in their subject.

4. Make it personal, keep it simple

Most personal statements are surprisingly impersonal and are hampered by the applicant feeling they need to impress with quotations or overly complex language.

A quotation is, by definition, somebody else's words, and it consumes characters you could have used yourself. Quote only if you are going to do something with it: challenge it, qualify it, extend it. 

On vocabulary. Applicants often adopt an ornate register they imagine academics use. Academics do not. Elaborate diction obscures meaning, and nobody is being assessed on the size of their vocabulary. If you can say something in simpler language without compromising on meaning, the simpler phrasing with fewer words will always be better: “interested” is stronger than “very interested” for example, and cheaper in terms of word count.

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5. Extracurriculars 

Extracurricular activities are, at the most academically-focused universities, close to irrelevant. A list of prefectships and county-level sport does not answer the question the reader is asking, namely: is this person well suited to this course. Made relevant, though, they can earn their place: fieldwork undertaken during a Duke of Edinburgh expedition, the physics of a musical instrument, the physiology of a sporting injury. As a general rule though, if you feel like you are forcing a connection to include an extracurricular activity, it would be better to omit it all together.

Super-curricular activities, anything academically relevant beyond the syllabus, carry more weight, and they need not be elaborate. Podcasts, recorded lectures and independent reading all count. Nobody is credited for a work placement that happened to be available through family connections; what is being assessed is self-direction.

6. Keep it in proportion

Matthew’s final piece of advice is to keep the importance of a personal statement in proportion: the marginal value of a seventh draft is close to nil. Where admissions tests exist, they weigh considerably more heavily on the outcome than the statement does, and preparation time is better spent there.

In my interview at Christ Church, Oxford, for example, my interviewer began by saying “We could talk about your personal statement if it will help you relax but it wont make any difference so shall we just move on?”

That said, the thinking behind the statement is far from wasted. The reading, the reflection and the reasons an applicant can give for their interest are exactly what an interview will test. Prepare thoroughly; draft economically.

Our golden rule at Witherow Brooke

Above all, any prospective tutor of yours will only have one thing in mind, whether reading your personal statement or interviewing you in person, namely: “Do I want to spend the next three or more years teaching this person?”

Remember that they know considerably more about their subject than you do, and whatever you know (or think you know) is unlikely to impress them. 

Instead, think about how to be the type of person who will be enjoyable and productive to teach: are you interested in the subject? Do you have the focus, concentration and demeanour to succeed, even when you encounter an area you find difficult? Do you think before you speak and take in information effectively?

This is the only thing that matters and ultimately what every admissions tutor is looking for.

A final thing to bear in mind when applying to particularly competitive universities such as Oxbridge is that no matter how well you prepare and how well suited you are to the course, there will always be a degree of randomness to any selection process. Placements often rely on interviews and these are notoriously inconsistent when it comes to selecting the best candidates, so do not take it too personally if you find yourself unsuccessful in securing a place at your chosen institution.